Science Wars
Friday, May 02, 2003
STOP WORRYING ABOUT SPIDERS: I'm sure it is a coincidence that one day after we learned that space worms had slithered out of the wreckage that was the Space Shuttle Columbia, officials are just now going out of their way to reassure a worried public that the Space Spiders died in space.
As the Australian news story continues, however, it becomes and less and less reassuring, and ends downright terrifying. The headline claims the Space Spiders died in space, but the lede retreats to claim only that the Space Spiders "probably" died. How do we know they died, or probably died? Well, the little critters were doing fine until a power loss seven days into the mission. After that the spiders started behaving strangely.
Oh, that's just great. Power outages. They're assuming "something happened." Aren't these NASA types scientists? Don't they have data? Have they ever read a comic book or seen a space-horror film? If the spiders really perished during the mission, why are we only learning this now? This stinks of incompetence, or perhaps a cover-up.
We're not assuming anything at Science Wars. And we're certainly not going to be reassured by blind speculation. The Space Spiders didn't like what was happening to them in space. They freaked out. Now the Columbia is in bits all over Texas, and some of the creatures on board have survived. As they say over in Langan's bar, "We report. You decide."
As the Australian news story continues, however, it becomes and less and less reassuring, and ends downright terrifying. The headline claims the Space Spiders died in space, but the lede retreats to claim only that the Space Spiders "probably" died. How do we know they died, or probably died? Well, the little critters were doing fine until a power loss seven days into the mission. After that the spiders started behaving strangely.
"We had a few power-downs each day but after a few days of no information we're assuming something happened to the humidity levels in their environment and they didn't like it," Ms Pratt told AAP.
Oh, that's just great. Power outages. They're assuming "something happened." Aren't these NASA types scientists? Don't they have data? Have they ever read a comic book or seen a space-horror film? If the spiders really perished during the mission, why are we only learning this now? This stinks of incompetence, or perhaps a cover-up.
We're not assuming anything at Science Wars. And we're certainly not going to be reassured by blind speculation. The Space Spiders didn't like what was happening to them in space. They freaked out. Now the Columbia is in bits all over Texas, and some of the creatures on board have survived. As they say over in Langan's bar, "We report. You decide."
THEY'RE HERE: The first of May is officially Loyalty Day. There's a law on the books saying so, and the President issued a proclamation informing those of us who assumed that we were Americans because we were born here, or had parents who were Americans, that this wasn't necessarily so. Being American is more about believing in some highly dubious statements regarding human nature:
Fortunately, the Fourteenth Amendment disagrees with the President. For now, even on Loyalty Day, being an American does have something to do with blood and birth and nothing at all to do with being "bound by ideals."
The President sought to prove that a connection to the particular place called America has nothing to do with being American by spending the day flying a military airplane to a navy ship sailing on international waters. Or was he more concerned about putting some distance between himself and the space worms?
Look we don't want to start a panic about the worms, which are mysteriously known as C. elegans. (What does that "C" stand for anyway?) Science Wars caught a lot of flack for stirring up so much trouble about the space spiders. In our defense, we still don't know exactly what happened aboard the Columbia in those final, desperate moments.
Maybe worms aren't so scary. But is that all that has slithered or crawled out of the big thicket?
To be an American is not a matter of blood or birth. Our citizens are bound by ideals that represent the hope of all mankind: that all men are created equal, endowed with unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. On Loyalty Day, we reaffirm our allegiance to our country and resolve to uphold the vision of our Forefathers.
Fortunately, the Fourteenth Amendment disagrees with the President. For now, even on Loyalty Day, being an American does have something to do with blood and birth and nothing at all to do with being "bound by ideals."
The President sought to prove that a connection to the particular place called America has nothing to do with being American by spending the day flying a military airplane to a navy ship sailing on international waters. Or was he more concerned about putting some distance between himself and the space worms?
Look we don't want to start a panic about the worms, which are mysteriously known as C. elegans. (What does that "C" stand for anyway?) Science Wars caught a lot of flack for stirring up so much trouble about the space spiders. In our defense, we still don't know exactly what happened aboard the Columbia in those final, desperate moments.
Maybe worms aren't so scary. But is that all that has slithered or crawled out of the big thicket?
"To my knowledge, these are the only live experiments that have been located and identified," Bruce Buckingham, a NASA spokesman at the Kennedy Space Center, told CNN.Notice the weasel words "to my knowledge." In other words, its very possible the space spiders survived without NASA's knowledge. What yesterday's discovery makes clear is that the authorities have not accounted for all the creatures they sent up into space. And they certainly don't know what effect exposure to space, and the tragic, super-heated crashg, may have had on the spiders.
